Good news, everyone!
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You weren't fooled by Alienese, were you? Well, before you can become the most important person in the universe, you have some more challenges to finish. 
<ol>
<li>What is the last name of the winner of the second annual NetWars Tournament of Champions?</li>
<li>What is the only tool to be listed on both the "Mobile Device" and "Web App" sections of the SANS Ultimate Pen Test Poster?</li>
<li>How many cans of Red Bull are visible in Dr. Cole's champagne bucket picture from #SANSScottdale 2014? Be sure to spell out the number (i.e., use "Six" instead of "6").</li>
</ol>
Add the three answers to http://bit.ly/SANS_ (without spaces, but keeping the original capitalization) in order to reveal the next section.